'How does it feel, to treat me like you do, when you laid your hands upon me an told me who you are'
Wise words. Just not sure why, but they have always made me think that my bike calls to me. Cross is gone. MTB is back (not that it ever went away). But triathlon has raised from its winter slumber and its calling again. The TT bike looks sad, why have i neglected it. 'I'm so fast' she says, 'so narrow, so light'. Normally i can ignore the temptress, but not now, not when its bright in the morning and the birds are calling me.
What this means is time, more time than i can probably give, more time than i should give to any one thing that's not human.
'Tell me how do i feel? Tell me how, how do i feel?'
Obsession is not a word i use, but there is something to be had from the utter pain you get at the end of a cross race. It feels like nothing i can describe. Your lungs are trying to crawl out your eyes, your brain gave up hours ago and is lying in a rut crying to itself, and yet you want to know why they wont let you get in just one more lap. 6 more minutes of pain, 3 km more of torture, one more tenth of hell for your brain to get away from it all.
The summer equivalent for me is tri, the last kilometre in a race, all out sprinting on my feet as hard as i can. Ignore the last 2 hours of racing. There will be people. They will judge you. You must look strong. You must impress. All thoughts of a misguided green and black suit that i will not be wearing this summer. A Phoenix from the ashes.
140km it took to savage the beast, 140km on a bike i haven't ridden since August last. 140km in a position that will try to make your eyes leave your knees cause its the closest way out. The carbon tubs look at me even as i write. 'Use us, make us make you fast. Love us, treat us well.'
Worst of all. The power is calling. The Powertap has awoken. It calls me. Shouting for the excess weight i've put on. '5kg over race weight, tut tut, how will that impact your FTP fattie.'
Not for long. I want you. I need you. You can make me strong for 24 hours. I just need to tame the beast and it will be mine.